V

A speed paint commission of Violet for Solice. I can't remember if I posted the previous one or not.

It is also Valentine's Day! It wasn't planned but I suppose the picture is fitting. They're very happy with it and it was ridiculously fun painting this. I've been having more erotic commissions as of late (not that I mind),but it's certainly exciting to work on them! More and more I recall the days where my siblings would tell me I'd never get paid for the kind of work I do. Ah well. Having to do these commissions have slowly been helping me with my self confidence though in a way.

I think I'm doing better. I'm balancing myself out. So today is a good day! It's really rainy and windy and horrible outside, but D and I have survived. I've had some hot chocolate; I found it in my cupboard. I think I got it for Christmas but must have forgotten all about it. It's a lovely one though; needs milk instead of water, but it has a nice rich flavour to it.

We'll be watching Big Trouble in Little China this evening. I haven't seen that movie for a long long time. I can barely remember a thing from it. It looks fantastic though, and we have toffee popcorn.

Well I best be off. I start work on my next big commission on Monday! Lots of armour in it, which will be fun to paint.

FKA twigs - Papi Pacify

High Key. Getit

I was trying to finish this for my weekly task thing. This week was to do a painting in high key and low key pallets. I've only just realised now that Andro looks both high, and is holding a key. I drew the initial sketch some time ago though.

Sometimes its nice and healthy to be really busy. I just wish I didn't feel really busy 100% of the time. I want to be able to sit down and relax without thinking "God damnit I'm wasting TIME!"

hu.

I tried finishing this for my 52 task, but this week I also helped do some little pixel things for one of Tom's projects. It was actually kind of fun and relaxing.... 

I'll try and finish the this picture sometime. In fact, I'll try and work on the comic sometime.

The Dream Coat

Commission of Joseph and the Coat of Many Colours. This one was quite interesting as the person approached me and I haven't spoken to them before at all. We did a lot of back and forth making sure it was perfectly to his liking. He managed to point out a fair few things that perhaps I would have over looked, or have missed, so it was nice having different perspective.

I try to keep in touch with most of my commissioners who go for larger works, as they're making an investment into something that will (hopefully) stay on their wall for a long while. It's really heart warming to know that someone want's my work and my visual depictions of something important to them in their personal space. Knowing this always makes me wish I could get to know each commissioner to the extent of a close friend, but this is both unreasonable and impractical. I do however, get to talk to them briefly through emails or via skype, and it's endearing, however brief of fleeting it is.

As far as how I feel...I've been feeling much better again. I think I realised that there are just going to be times where I feel bad again. It's natural. I just have to remember that because I've felt bad for a little while doesn't mean that I've lost all my progress. If I've climbed 20 feet up a ladder and went down one or two because I was scared for a moment...I'm still 18 feet high. I think I put things into weird analogies so that I can more easily remember the things I've taught myself later down the road. Like little sticky notes.

So yes I will sometimes feel bad. But that doesn't mean I've messed up or done something wrong.

I was reading the other day some feelings and opinions from people who have medication to help stabilise their moods and things and..it sounded quite painful. And I think even in my most painful hours it's not nearly quite as bad. I feel for them. I really do.

I'm trying more and more to do the things I actually want to do. I might have mentioned before. It's been working out okay. Sometimes it's still hard to get the motivation to go and do something that doesn't require me sitting in the house, but eventually it will be no problem.

There will be an alt version of the picture on my Tumblr soon, as I personally prefer him with long hair.

I have also recently come across FKA twigs, and I must say I'm eagerly awaiting more work.

FKA - How's That

I find it really relaxing.