Thursday, December 26, 2013

From My Thoughts to Your Thoughts

Just finished this speed paint for a lovely lady who goes by Elissinia. This was actually a companion piece to the one below.

Both were incredibly fun to work on. I had to really curb my time spent on either.. And I had actually worked on these about a month or two apart, so I found it a little bit difficult trying to make sure I kept the consistency. I typically have a difficult time doing companion pieces purposely already, but I think I pulled it off.

Christmas has just passed. and I almost forgot to post the Christmas cards I worked on! You can see them on my tumblr.

I actually didn't feel all that in the modd for Christmas this year, which was strange for me because I'm usually alll about getting into the holiday spirits regardless how big or small it is. But I just wasn't feeling it. I spent most of the morning lying in bed not wanting to get up and get out, or even see Tom's parents. I just thought about my own family a lot. How much I missed them and all and how things just weren't ever going to be the same again. I'm surprised at how difficult its been for me to accept change, especially since it's changes that I had made myself. I've had to take so much time thinking and what feels almost like recalibrating my brain to my life and surroundings around me. I think I got caught up in a lot of things I just didn't care about before. I don't go out for the long walks that I use to, I spend a lot of time indoors. BUt I just can't afford to go out anywhere. Not just because of money but time as well.

I sometimes feel that perhaps I am indeed worrying too much, and others I feel I just am not worrying enough or that I'm trying to avoid responsibility and adult hood. These last few weeks were awful. Everyday felt like a struggle just to get out of bed, despite my finally reaching some of my goals for this year. I've come a long way. I've learned so much in such a short span of time. For whatever reason, all my achievements have been glazed over and forgotten by new goals and some sort of journey to "do better faster". I'm not sure if it's being overwhelmed, or being lethargic, trying to keep up with the pace I've set out for myself. We've all seen the various videos and gifs of that one guy who puts the treadmill on too fast and stumbles right on his ass. Part of me doesn't know if I should get up and run away with whatever dignity I have left, or try and get back on. Perhaps eventually I'll be able to master the way of the treadmill, learn to dance a long side it and become friends with it, rather than think of it as a battle against it....

I hope these links work years later so that I may remember the moment I explained my emotions with a set of treadmill gifs.

Anyway. I've not got much time but I have been feeling much better today. I've been thinking about things differently. Learning to tame my cycle of life and emotions and so on. Trying to further understand myself in an attempt to reach a peace that I once had...I think that's what I'm trying to do anyway.

Life is strange like. I've also started doing a Vulcan meditation thing that came up in Star Trek Voyager. Tuvok mentions it in one episode, and it seemed ingenious. To my surprise, it's helped. I'll have to dig a bit deeper and understand why something so simple has helped so drastictally, but I think I'll be able to with a bit more time. 

Also, I've made a wallpaper for the two pictures

You can get them here :

Suffice to say, Christmas was far better than I anticipated and I still have so very much to learn.

Monday, December 16, 2013


I have slowly been working on ANDRO✰ again (I might have said already) and tonight I felt like drawing a little thing of Luke. I really like him as a character, with his honesty and sincerity. The main reason I included him in ANDRO✰ as a character is because he is a derivative from the same story in which Andro's character derives from. I thought it would be funny to have both of them in a story completely out of context in which they originally belonged. At first I wasn't sure how it was going to work, as I don't normally have anthropomorphic characters. I wasn't sure how I was going to make him actually -physically- work with the other characters as they were more nimble and be easier to manipulate. I decided to take the challenge though, and now that I've added him, he seems almost like a necessity. 

I think his clear continence and and friendly (almost naive) approach makes a good contrast to Andro's brash and sometimes grating behaviour. Well, I hope so anyway.

I'm should have an update ready by January. There's been quite a lot of work for me to do lately, which I am grateful for. At the same time I feel stressed, not sure if I'm doing the work quick enough. I don't like keeping my commissioners waiting, and I feel slightly overwhelmed.. In a way that I'm trying to make sure I'm saying the right things all the time, and that I'm not being to hasty with people or slacking on my work.

Sometimes I feel like I'm really going in the right direction. I've made so much progress this year, but I know there's still a lot of work and hardships ahead. Perhaps one day I'll look back to this time and reminisce about how hard I was working for a time when I had it so easy....fingers crossed.

C418 - Mice on Venus

It's so late. I'm tired. I should be in bed...I also need to start re-reading these before I post. I think my writing has been pretty jumbled lately. Probably due to the lack of a clear mind.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013


Christmas is like...two weeks away. I got most of my Christmas shopping done, but still have a lot of work that needs doing before then. So really...I should be working now rather than writing this so I will keep it short.

A few weeks back (maybe a month or so?) I was talking about making Robo Adoptables. 

The idea of adoptables in itself is already pretty convoluted, and my original plan seem to make it even more confusing than before. Essentially adoptables were character designs that you could buy to use as you wanted for personal use (so not to make money off the design or anything). I thought it would be a fun idea because i really love sci-fi things, even if I don't draw them very often, and I wanted to introduce people into designing their a way. I thought perhaps, if I were to create something like a robo -for- my clients , they would then go on to draw said character, either further design them, or come up with more on their own.

So when people buy a custom robo from me, they would get a variety of "parts" in which they could swap around if they likes. I wanted to do it as a sort of blue print, but when I started on one for myself, it just didn't translate very well and basically felt a bit empty. So the very top one is a test run on how I would like to present the works to my client. Thanks to Norree who has kindly been my guinea pig, and will be helping me with how things will go.

I've got two other outfits to design for that particular one, and then I will be opening up officially for these kinds of commissions. I'd like for this to really grow into something more, but there is a lot of planning that needs to be done before hand. Baby steps....

Alright I have a million bazillion things to do so I better go like, NOW.