Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I wish I had a nice camera that could take nice pictures, cause then this would look nice too. On the real , I wish I got the tones this dark on the real pencil drawing. Maybe next time I won't be so afraid.
Jesus again, with the face as close as I can get it. Not bad for 4 in the morning! Still want to make him look slightly older/more tired. It'll be right eventually.
My mind is like...it's hard for me to explain. It usually is anyway. Racing around. I think too fast for my own good. I always feel like there is something I'm meant to do, that I absolutely have to do, but in the end all the efforts that I push harder and harder out of myself turn out to be distrations from whats really getting at me.
I wish I spent more time -with- my family rather than yelling at them when I had the chance. I never had any regret before in life, not any true ones that amount to anything, so it's hard to swallow down. Especially the fact being I let pride and arrogance lead my mouth through most of the trash that spewed from it. I wanted to help, I just ended up being a nuisance. I'm so worried about everyone else; if they're doing it the right way, or have thier head in the right direction. Complaining about the speck of saw dust in their eyes, when I have a whole plank in my own. Meh.
I think I can relate to my own idea of Yeshua when I feel something great within me, but really I'm just being dirty and getting by on clumsiness.
That's not to say that the fight is over though. I know I'm getting better, I just have to accept the fact that I will never be -the- best.
at 7:54 AM