An Echo, A Stain

A wip.

Work Work

Work says : "No, you cannot have a life."

I secured a contract with a company now. To do 7 pictures. I'm totally hyped, but I would be lying if I said it was easy. First image, nearly done, just waiting for the final Okay to finish it up.

Trying to do some sketchbook project stuff on the side, but I really don't have time for it, so I've done this:



And that's probably about all that's going to be done in that book for about another month or so.

His name is Gregory. I will be keeping him. But seriously, no time to finish even that. And should actually be working on the second piece, which I will be in a moments time.....time..TIME. There is no such thing as time.

Work

So I started doing the Sketchbook Project 2012, and only managed to finish -this picture so far. I've got a few other compositions in mind, but haven't really had the chance to flesh them out! It's been quite busy again recently. I had to train yet another new person at work today, and been on the back and for with some potential work buddies.

Well, I say potential, but seems like they -will- be work buddies. Which I'm totally psyched about. They briefed me on what they wanted, and had me do a test page.



There was a tiny bit of confusion at first, I felt a bit nervous, but basically gave it my all when writing to them, and it's all seem to have worked out for the best! I'm a bit tired to write any more at the minute, but know that all is going well!

I also started painting the top picture, been doing a live stream, and been talking to some new buddies and stuff on there. It's been a might fine learning process I think and had a relatively good time talking about art things (which I don't normally get to do, as most people I talk to arn't really -that- interested). So...yeah. Time to go to bed, work tomorrow morning!

Autumn Comes First

Philip Glass - Saxaphone Concerto - Part 3


Ljova and the Kontraband - Untango



I remember posting about this picture ages ago, like over a year ago. And I got lazy, and never finished it. SO I finally decided I would. Most of my gallry is of unfinished stuff, so I'm trying to polish some of it up. Granted this took a bit longer than I hope (then again everything does), but I wanted to try and put a bit more effort. More textures and stuff and approaching things slightly different. I learned a bit but maybe not as much as I would have liked to... Anyway you can see the detail if you care to :



But it's done now.

I also did a livestream while working on it, which was fun. It was nice having some people stop by just to say hey, and actually got to speak to Gitoku in real time. Which was a bit weird. We've known each other for about 5 years now on Deviantart, and comment on each others work often on there, but never spoke in real time before that. He was very pleasant and nice to talk to, and we learned a bit more about each other than we probably would have ever really known if we didn't speak face to face...so to say. So I hope he stops by in the future! He's good company.

And durring me trying to finish that picture, Cephi promted me to do something for her quickly, so of course I said sure, and had to draw a background in like, 2 hours. That might be easy for some people , but I never draw enviroments, so it was difficult for me I admit.



It came out okay though. She's happy with it, so, there isn't much more I can ask for...

So all the leaves are changing colour and everything. Everyone is wearing brown and red and what not and buying their hot drinks. I love autumn. I forget that every once in a while. It does make me miss home, as we don't get Thanksgiving over here or even pumpkin pie. So I have to make my own pumpkin pies with a recipie courtious of my grandmother and they actually come out pretty good. But nothing beats being around family and just sitting around a dinner table talking for hours about anything and everything. I know my family wasn't perfect, nobodies is, but we talked. We loved each other, as most families do. We were there for each other...and I kind of feel like I'm not apart of that anymore. Not that it's anyone's fault. It's just the distance and time. Keeping up with people miles away gets tough, especially with all of them working at different times and just doing their own things. But that's all apart of growing up I suppose. We all turn into adults, and begin our own lives and the process of growing up and growing together starts all over again...

Took D down to the beach today and through the gardens. I actually did that walk on my own a couple days back with just me and D. Bought a hot chocolate and spilled it all over my hand, then sat in a tree for a half hour. But today it was Tom and myself and D and it was nice. Then we almost got told off for having D on a part of the beach where dogs werent allowed, and then walked through the gardens very slowly as D lost momentmum at that point. She's so lazy. I got some nice photos, but tom doesn't have his comp to take them off his phone, so maybe next time.

I love going down to the beach and stuff around September time. It's no freezing, but it's empty. The gardens arn't quite as busy, but there are still plants that havn't withered away and such. Around winter time though, the beach will probably be vastly empty...so I'll have to see if I can get down there with D around that time. Buy her a little coat to protecter from the harsh elements of nature...lololo.

I'll be making some postcards soon that will be for sale once I sort everything out...always feels like there's so much to do. Anyway. Just try to enjoy one day at a time, etc...

Here's a video I always liked, but have no idea what they're saying :

Fleur - Ремонт

Fleur makes for good autumn music as well. Love love to everyone.

Tegaki Messenger

Get it : Awesome

Add me : 313-1074-5015

cool.

Sorry for the really lame updates, still working forever.

Winter is Coming

You know what that means.



...actually I don't either.

Thought I'd finish this up as it was sitting around doing nothing. Need to get better!

Here, have a wallpaper : Hooraay!

Fabriqué en Italie

A bit has been going on in my life recently.

To put it frankly, I finally saw photos of my actual father, and spoke to him on the phone about a week ago.

It was very strange. We talked without hesitaion, and spoke for about an hour and a half on the phone.

For those of you who don't know me very well at all, if you care to know; I never knew my father personally. Knew barely anything of him to begin with. My mother had no photo, or anything from him. Only his name. There were some complications between him and my mother when I was concived. Not anything bad, but they both wanted different. So they parted ways.

And for the longest time, I always watched these movies and things, where these kids are without fathers, and how they resented them/ felt a loss for them not being there. I never understood that. He was never apart of my life. He wasn't really even an entitiy to me, being that I had only a name. He could be anyone. It never bothered me in the slightest that he was gone (and even saying that everytime, there was still a ver very niche sorty of doubt in my mind as to how true that was). I couldn't understand how they could hate someone so much without giving them a chance to understand their side of the story and why things turned out the way they were. I was always trying to be forgiving and sympathetic, even to fictional situations. I always said to myself "I'd never be like that. I'd always give them a chance."

That was until my mother actually managed to contact my father. I was reading a thread on a forum I frequent not to long ago about looking people up and finding them, and of course I was like "hmm, should try that again". I've tried sevral times before to no avail, only getting dead end phone numbers and thats about it. This time I thought "by now, everyone is on facebook" and lo and behold, there was a small photo of a privatised profile. The face was just as mine.and I was positive it was him.

I reached my mother and showed her and asked if that was him. She said it did look very much like him and that she'd leave him a message. So we did. And we waited...and waited for a while and nothing happened. I thought perhaps hes got a very different life now, and that bringing skeletons from the closet was not a good idea for him at the moment. Which I was fine with. It could have possibly not been him to begin with.

Fast foward a few months later and the house phone rings and I pick it up. It was my mother. "I've been trying to reach you all day!" She then explained that it was him on facebook, and that she added him, and they spoke briefly. The only thing i could repeat was "oh. wow. thats weird" and spread them quite thinly.

We kept in contact with each other the next few days and she told me about what he was talking about with her and showed me photos and explained more. And it wasn't until that moment when I started to understand why people felt unsettled with detached fathers.

It felt like he didn't even fign the slightest intrest in me. He didn't ask my mother anything about me. It was as if he had virtually no care in the world what so ever about my well being or existance. And on top of that I found out about his painting abilities and intrests as well and more and more I felt as if I wasn't my own unique being anymore.

I felt like my face wasn't my own face. That it wasn't unique to only myself. It was just a mash up between my mother's and my father's. And that all my intrest in art and painting and illustrating wasn't of my own desity, but that i was genetically predisposed to want to paint and draw. I started to feel like all these things that made "me" me was being snatched away and that I was just another human clone. Something like that. And to top it off, his lack of intrest and being more into what seemed like hooking up with my mother again, had worn on me. The only way I could settle that feeling of distress and if I may "abandonment" was if I told myself "It shouldn't be a surprize, he didn't care to begin with so why should he care now?"

The anger of him actually being there now, but still not really being there was begining to bottle up and only too soon did my mother arrange a date for us to speak together on the phone. I was initially what I wanted to do. I wanted to talk to him on the phone only because we couldn't do it face to face. I didn't want to start our relationship, if we were to have one, on facebook. But as more timed pass durring the week i was beginign to be afraid I might start off on a bad note. That I might try to call him out on his "mistakes" or whatever, or be brash and harsh. I didn't want to be like those people on TV. I genuinely wanted to give him a chance, but I continuted to get more andgry and confused at his seemingly blase attituted towards the whole ordeal with the way he spoke to my mother. I was soon to be proven wrong.

We spoke last sunday at almost exactly a week ago to the hour. And it went fantastically well. I was a bit shaken at first, but he started with the questions and it went from there. We both have insanely similar intrests and, well there is alot more to be learned. He's quite funny and I can almost see the charm that perhaps captured my mother when they were in their youth. I'm possibly going to meet him in person for the first time after 22 years after this coming Christmas.

I w3sa supposed to be speaking to him today, hwoever I had very little time this week to get in touch with my mother to arrange a time. I should probably apologize for my lack of effort, but busy times leave me with little time for pleasure.

Ive been working full time the past 3 weeks and probably for the next three, which is why I havn't drawn anything for ages and ages and not been updating. Anyway. I do have photos and things of Tom and I going to the park with D that I'll share next time.

For now though, I should start getting ready for another week of work, enjoying the small things, and making effort in finishing the things I've started.

OH! And the picture up top, is also apart of the story I mentioned in my previous post. He will be replacing asakati and is a doll. I think his name will be Fabriqué En Italie.



À bientôt, mon toute beauté personnes